Description

About The Book

This autobiography is more than a personal narrative. It is a vivid account of struggle, resilience, and reflection. As someone deeply interested in literature, I have read numerous autobiographies by Dalit writers, and I found in their stories a powerful sense of defiance, suffering, and resistance. The elements which I rarely encountered in the autobiographies of upper-caste writers. Unlike many of these Dalit writers, my own life was relatively shielded from intense discrimination, perhaps due to the security provided by my father’s government job. However, that doesn’t mean my journey was without contradictions. Through this book, I explore the complexities within the Dalit community itself—the internal conflicts, rivalries, and struggles for dominance that often go unnoticed. I have candidly written about what I have seen and experienced, including the attitude of senior officials, subordinates, and customers toward Dalit employees.
This book is not only a testimony to my personal journey but also an attempt to voice the layered realities of being Dalit in contemporary India. How successful I have been in doing so—that remains for the readers to judge.

About The Author

I was born on December 13, 1963, in a Dalit (Chamar) family in the village of Baghala, District Bijnor, Uttar Pradesh. I began my career at the State Bank of India on June 6, 1983, as a clerk and retired on July 31, 2023, after over four decades of dedicated service.
Throughout my banking career, I held various key positions: Branch Manager at multiple branches; trainer; auditor; and other important roles in the Vigilance Department. My work in auditing took me across states like Bihar, Jharkhand, West Bengal, Delhi, Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, and Jammu & Kashmir. While working in the vigilance department, I frequently visited Eastern Uttar Pradesh, which gave me deeper insights into the challenges faced by Dalits across the state. Wherever I served, I made a conscious effort to support and guide Dalit employees and officers. My inspiration to write this autobiography came from reading works such as Murdahiya and Manikarnika by Dr. Tulsiram, Apne Apne Pinjre by Shri Mohandas Naimishray, Baluta by Shri Daya Pawar, Joothan by Shri Omprakash Valmiki, Mera Bachpan Mere Kandho Par by Shri Sheoraj Singh Bechain, Santapta by Shri Suraj Pal Chauhan, and autobiographies by Dalit women writers like Shikanjey Ka Dard by Smt Sushila Taukbhaure, Aaydaan by Smt Urmila Pawar, and Apni Zameen Apna Aasman by Smt Rajni Tilak. These voices inspired me to document my own life. One of the proudest moments in my career was receiving the Mahatma Phule Fellowship while serving as a Branch Manager in Indiranagar, Bareilly. This recognition further strengthened my resolve to tell my story. A story that may resonate with many, and offer a unique perspective on caste, identity, and public service in India.